


Envisage

by Ringletts



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Angst, Blood, Manga Spoilers, POV First Person, Will probably get comments like 'How dare you'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:30:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ringletts/pseuds/Ringletts
Summary: A storm is brewing and Goku finds himself standing alone against a God of War. But things are not as they appear. Goku's adventures with Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai may soon come to an end.





	Envisage

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank Thooluu for being an amazing beta reader and making sure everything was neat, tidy, and flowed properly! Also please note there may be spoilers for recent Saiyuki Reload Blast chapters.

The moment I saw the one known as Nataku, my world had begun to unravel.

I don’t remember much about my past. I was imprisoned for 500 years because of something I did that I have no memory of. I wonder if I’ll ever know the reason why. But the name Nataku stirs something within me and gives me a strange feeling of nostalgia. Have I met him before? I can’t recall.

I think I’ve seen him before. Whenever my diadem comes off I get strange visions. I can see him in quick flashes in my mind before I turn into Seiten Taisei.

The first time I saw him standing in the decimated temple with Sanzo sprawled out on the floor, I felt my chest tighten. It was hard to breathe. I struggled to try and say something, to ask him who he was, but he didn’t seem to notice me as he just walked by. I didn’t have too long to think about it because Sanzo was hurting pretty bad and I had to get him help.

I didn’t tell anyone about it, but I spent many nights trying to reach into my mind and see if I could figure out how I knew him. As usual, I wasn’t able to piece anything together. My memories are beyond my reach. All I can remember is waking up in a cave, my name, and Sanzo showing up to save me. When he showed up it felt like I was in a dream, I never thought I would be freed.

It wasn’t long after that we crossed paths again. We were told by the three aspects that he was a War God named Nataku sent down to deal with the resurrection of Gyu Maoh. But he was also eliminating any youkai in his way. We were, I guess you can call it, “fired” from our duty to stop the resurrection and to go back home.

It was hard on us, especially Sanzo. We ended up having a fight, but we’re companions. We worked it out. We may fight sometimes, we disagree a lot, but Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai are like family to me. We do things our own way. We had already come so far that we weren’t about to listen to some stuffy floating heads.

Sanzo had us go to a youkai village that Sharak had been at and we found Nataku attacking her and the townspeople. She was doing her best to defend the youkai who lived there in peace. They were not like the ones affected by the minus wave and just wanted to live quietly in their homes.

Immediately we took him on. Sanzo and the guys aren’t real big on talking things out, so we basically went all out on the guy. He already pinned us as enemies anyway, so it seemed almost pointless to try and solve things with words.

It didn’t go so well.

Nataku lived up to his title of War God. He summoned all kinds of warriors, kinda like Shikigami is what Hakkai said. They didn’t go down easily and it felt almost futile to keep attacking them. So instead of dealing with his army of summoned soldiers, I went after Nataku himself–the one controlling them. I thought I had caught him off guard as I leapt at him, Nyoi Bo ready to strike, but he saw me coming. I got thrown back by the power of his sword as it impacted my staff, and the force alone made me collide with Sanzo as I was hurled back several yards. Nataku was about to blast us into dust with his crazy strong heavenly death beam, but Hakkai was quick to shield us with his energy.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t strong enough to completely block the attack and the shield broke, overwhelmed by the sheer power of a War God. Hakkai and Sanzo took most of the damage and fell to the ground, slashes all over their bodies. I was shielded so I managed to avoid getting hurt too bad; but I got overwhelmed from the attack and was forced onto my back, disorientating me.

I swore I could hear Gojyo yell out something but soon after was silenced. I’m guessing he tried to take on Nataku on his own–it probably didn’t end well for him.

I pulled myself up into a sitting position, wincing a bit when I put pressure on my leg. Looking down I saw a pretty deep wound in my leg, causing it to flare up in pain when I put weight on it. I quickly surveyed the situation I was in. Next to me on the ground were Sanzo and Hakkai who were pretty badly injured from the War God’s heavenly attack. Looking to the side I noticed Gojyo not too far from me, having been hurled into some rocks and not moving on the ground.

This wasn’t looking too good for us.

I forced myself to stand and distanced myself a little from Sanzo and Hakkai, worried Nataku would try blasting at me. I didn’t want the guys caught up in an attack that I wouldn’t be able to block while they were knocked down. Even with my leg injured, I should be able to dodge on my own, but I didn’t know if the guys would be able to avoid it.

There was a rumbling sound not too far away. Despite the sky being clear, a storm seemed to be approaching. The wind picked up around me. I stood alone against a God.

Maybe now was a good time to try talking things out. Clearly the whole ‘punch first, ask questions later’ approach hadn’t worked so well. Even I knew I couldn’t take on this guy alone. Nataku was on a whole ‘nother level.

“Why are you doin’ this?” I asked, keeping an eye on the small god and watching for any movement. I had to avoid getting blasted by that death beam of his. “These youkai are just tryin’ to live in peace. They didn’t do anythin’!”

Nataku’s expression remained unchanged, staring with eyes that held no emotion in them. “The youkai must be eliminated.” He stated bluntly as his soldiers lined up behind him.

“But why?” I asked, lowering my Nyoi bo a little so I could maintain eye contact. Maybe I could convince him to leave the villagers alone. Looking behind me I could see Sharak standing not too far with the youkai watching in fear. I turned to look back at Nataku. “You came down here to take out Gyu Maoh, right?”

“Yes.” His response was simple, yet sounded so cold. He continued to stare at me, but something felt wrong. The air began to feel heavy around me and the rumbling sound of thunder got louder.

I lowered my staff more, thinking my plan to try to talk things out might work out. Nataku didn’t seem opposed to listening to me speak. At the very least, I could stall for time so Sanzo and the others could regroup.

“Why not work together?” I smiled, feeling a bit more confident. There wouldn’t be anything bad about suggesting an alliance, right? “We got the same goal, so we could team up and stop the resurrection together! I know you got an army, but me an’ Sanzo an’ the guys are pretty damn tough too! We could-”

“Stop talking.” Nataku suddenly lifted his sword, pointing it at my throat. For a moment I swore I saw his expression flicker into one of anger.

“What? Why wouldn’t you want allies?”

“You are no allies of mine. You are the enemy.”

I frowned, trying to understand the situation. How did we become the enemy anyway? We had no idea why this guy had pinned us as threat. “What did we do? How can we be enemies if we’re both doin’ the same thing?”

Nataku’s eye twitched slightly. “You don’t remember what you did?”

“Well, no. Not really.” I replied, feeling a little stupid. “I mean we do a lotta stuff. We kick youkai ass, we help out people when we visit their town. In fact it feels like almost every town we go to they have some kinda problem and we end up havin’ to take care of it for them be-”

“You are playing dumb.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” I was beginning to feel frustrated. This guy kept interrupting me and it was starting to get a bit annoying.

“You are the reason I nearly died.”

Well that was unexpected. “What?”

Nataku kept his sword pointed at my throat, his eyes flickering with anger again. “You should have stayed away. You and your friends. But instead you made everything change. Things were fine before you showed up.”

I felt a pain in my chest for some reason when he said that, but why? It felt as though I had just been told by a friend that I ruined their life I needed answers.

“I don’t get it. Have I met you before? Nataku, I don’t know what I did but... but I’m sure I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble!”

“There are no words you can say to change the chaos that happened because of you.”

Something about this seemed all wrong, as if this wasn’t the real Nataku. But how would I even know what he was like? It felt like a voice in my head was telling me that things weren’t as they seemed.

Suddenly the War God lunged forward, his sword raised. He moved so quickly that I didn’t have time to react, not that I could move easily anyway with my injured leg. I went to raise my staff to block the blow but he simply sliced through it with his weapon. I saw red liquid, but I felt no pain–too shocked by what was happening. I stumbled back to look down at my chest, blood pouring from the deep wound.

“Why...?” I asked, blood bubbling in my throat as my vision began to grow hazy. The wind picked up around me and it felt almost strong enough to knock me over. I looked down at my slashed chest as blood began to drip to the ground, but the moment it touched earth lilies formed, stained with red. The desolate plains were suddenly filled with these flowers as they began to wrap around the War God who watched me with those lifeless eyes.

Crap. Was I hallucinating because of the blood loss?

“Goku!”

I heard Sanzo call out my name and turned to look at him, but he looked different. His hair was suddenly longer. He was wearing different clothes too. There was blood on him, but that wasn’t what scared me when I saw him. His torso was completely gone, instead surrounded but something that looked like golden dust. The wind was causing his body to erode and he was disappearing.

“San...zo...?”

What was happening? Hakkai and Gojyo looked up at me too; they also looked different. Their wounds suddenly looked much more severe, but it was hard to figure it out because I was having trouble seeing because I could feel tears running down my cheeks. All three of them were being covered by the flowers and soon were engulfed by them, leaving no trace of my companions.

“Goku.”

I turned back to look at Nataku who was now calling for me. Suddenly his eyes looked full of life. He was smiling at me. His sword was lowered and he held out his hand to me as the lilies continued to wrap around him.

“Nataku... I don’t... I don’t understand.”

Before I could get another word out, a mighty bolt of lightning struck Nataku in his shoulder blade and I watched in horror as it looked as though he was split in half. His blood splattered onto me as he crumbled lifelessly to the ground.

Everything happened in an instant–I had no time to even blink.

There was a loud crack followed by a loud roar of thunder and suddenly I was laying on a stone cold floor as something wet hit my face.

I cried out in shock and sat up, pulling back as I felt rain drops falling on me. My breaths came out in quick gasps as my vision began to clear. I was no longer battling a War God or protecting a village of youkai. I was no longer a grown man who was on a journey to stop the resurrection of the demon king. I was no longer free.

I looked down at my hands and saw the familiar iron chains. Around me was stone and in front of me were bars covered in seals. I was back in my prison. Once again, I had been dreaming.

How long had I been sleeping this time? The last time I was awake it was beginning to snow outside my cave; winter had come. Now I could see flowers and it was thunderstorming. Maybe it was spring time?

Being in this prison for so long, time moved differently for me. I sleep for a long time. There’s nothing else I can do, after all. Being stuck with your thoughts, trying to figure out why you’ve been imprisoned, tends to be pretty depressing.

When I sleep I can escape. I’m in another world, I’m free. I can interact with people, I can make friends. I must have been sleeping for a long time because it felt as though I spent years with these three guys.

“Sanzo... Gojyo... Hakkai...” That’s right, I should write their names down.

Every time I dreamed I met three people who became an important part of my illusionary life. One of them was always stern, but they took care of me like I was their son. The other was almost like a big brother to me and would tell me stuff that he often got in trouble for because ‘Kids don’t need to hear that’. The other was always smiling and very knowledgeable; he acted like my teacher.

Using one of my claws, I began to write their names into the stone on the ground. It always took awhile. My nails would be ground down as I tried to engrave the words into the rocky floor. Sometimes it took days to carve their names but it was worth it. I wouldn’t forget them. They were people that called out to me–were my companions. Even if it was just a dream, I felt like I had a place I belonged and people who cared for me. Besides, it wasn’t like I had much else to do in my solitary prison.

Above their names were the names of others I had met in my dreams. I counted about 45 names now. While I had always met others, three people always stood out. They weren’t always men, and sometimes they would be my age instead of older than me. Next to their names was Nataku’s. He was always at the end of my dreams. It seemed very strange to me, because it felt like I would start to remember things when I saw him, heard his name. It was like my brain was forcing myself to wake up so I couldn’t remember.

‘Haven’t you ever noticed that the world you see isn’t reality?’

Oh, that’s right. When I was dreaming I met this weird youkai guy who wore a bandanna and glasses. He asked me about my name, the one thing I do remember. He asked me what I thought of the idea of my world being part of a long dream.

I never caught his name, or I would have written it down too. I wonder if I’ll see him again next time I sleep.

Of all my dreams, I think the one with Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai was one of the longest and my favorite. It felt as though I spent years with them. We went on a lot of adventures. Maybe when I’m free I could write a book. I like stories about adventures so I’m sure others would too! The only problem was that over time my memories would fade. That’s why I carve the names of those I’ve met into my cave.

I will never forget them. Even if it was all just a fake world conjured in my mind while I slept, at least for awhile I wasn’t trapped in my solitary confinement. I was out in the world and living.

The storm continued on as thunder boomed loudly. There was no way I’d be able to sleep through this, to dream and live another life. Up on this mountain the storms were much louder. That’s fine though. I needed to carve the names of my friends into the stone floor.

I wondered what kind of adventures we’d go on next time I slept.

**Author's Note:**

> For more information on the mysterious youkai Goku met in his dreams, read Saiyuki Offroad


End file.
